so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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