I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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