Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
