I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
