Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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