I'm really into asian looking animals
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
