I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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