Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
