She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
one might say we're banned from that church
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
