his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
