Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize