I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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