how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
