Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
