Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
