is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
