it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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