shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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