I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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