I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
