talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
