Dual....:-)
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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