ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize