Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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