I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
