what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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