Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
