I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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