I accidentally had phone sex last night
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The uberlube is also flammable
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
