His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
