A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
