walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
