So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you would pick up someone in the library
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sorry about my life...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
