and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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