Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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