My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
