Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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