I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
