Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
