I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
