God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
