no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
