Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
time to smoke my breakfast
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
