Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
