I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
