you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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