Non-Jews are for practice
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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