I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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