I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
