omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
