I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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