it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
