my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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