First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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