So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
