Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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