Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
