At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
