Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize