I got chris browned last night
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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