Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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