he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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