i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize