I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
