you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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