why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
