1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish I could punch you in the face.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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