I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize